Draft Grades?! More like daft grades . . . Amirite?!

Who doesn't like the instant gratification of closing out a season's draft, and getting an immediate email from your platform that praises you for your sterling judgement, your amazing eye for value, and your hand in creating the most dominant lineup since the inception of fantasy football? I know I do! "A+" it states after using it's quantum computer brain for a tenth of a millisecond, then gives you a glowing review on your choice of Christian McCaffrey 1.01 overall (I'm looking at you BruceArianNation . . . brilliant move. I mean it's no Jamarcus Russell first overall draft pick, but we can't all be the brain trust that is the Raider's front office).

I think we can all agree that while we think that these grades are about as useful as the "G" in lasagna, it doesn't mitigate the FEELING you get when you receive one. It's only natural to second guess your choices, worry about your depth, and wring your hands at the sight of your late round tight end selection that absolutely has a shot to break out, when that B- shows up in your inbox. If you're anything like me, you crave external validation for your accomplishments no matter how small. And though I sealed my own fate by failing to draft a starting quarterback, or defense, or a kicker, it still stung when some algorithm told me I would have been better off had I auto-drafted (Mr. Yahoo coming in hot with the trash talk on that one. He a bad man).

So, I thought I'd offer a little real analysis to my fellow "back of the class" draft mates and give them a little pat on the back for some of the choices that helped build their underdog squads. And moreover, I wanted to remind them that these grades, no matter how bad that they make you feel right now, mean absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.

Jusczcyk2024, aka Scott Mallery, took bottom honors with a straight C. Drafting from the 7 spot, he went robust RB, grabbing Jones, Taylor, and CEH in the first three rounds. Totally respectable strategy, though one might argue sub optimal in a three wideout league. But hey, he probably didn't suffer at WR depth, right? Aiyuk leads the group . . . hmmm. Gallup and Mecole Hardman round it out. Yikes. Well, lots of people roster players with low volume, or like, you know, the third or fourth receiving option on a team. I'm sure it'll work out fine. Good Job, Jusczcyk2024!!

Next up, we have perennial real world gunner, and fantasy draft "C" student, Jimmy's G-$tring$, aka Geoff Westbrook. An important note here, Geoff had the first choice of draft order, second only to last year's consolation bracket champ, so let's see how it worked out picking from the 3 spot. Henry, Joe Mixon, Waller...RB,RB, elite TE. Good start. No question marks on any of those guys (lack of receiving work, bad offensive line and unproven QB, bad team that could completely crater. . . nope, no red flags on any of these guys!). And manning the flex is Antonio Brown, "Mr. Stable" or "Mr. Dependable" as Jon Gruden used to call him. I just don't see a world where any of these picks don't pan out, as long as no one freezers their feet off . . . again I mean. Great Work, Jimmy's G-$string$!!

And there you have it. A complete elucidation of the worthlessness of draft grades. TAKE THAT Mr. Yahoo in your fancy ivory tower, or volcano lair or whatever. With these two powerhouse rosters, I wouldn't be surprised if Scott and Geoff met in the title game. And then tied because they were both equally awesome.

Good luck to any of us who cross their path this year!

See you on the fake gridiron. . .

Losers.